Good Night Sweet Prince

So, today marks one year since Charlie has passed away. I have had many one year milestones in my life. One year anniversary, one year without a bleed, but this one year mark makes me depressed. I miss Charlie every day. The fact that hes been gone for a year makes me feel like I need to do something or something has to happen for me to remember him or hang on to him. The hardest part for me to accept is that there is nothing I can do about it. I sent my mom flowers to let her know I was thinking of her but I know it will never be enough to make up for the fact that she lost her best friend. I have received a lot of support today, my wonderful co worker Danielle bought me flowers and a little teddy bear and a beautiful card. It was such a beautiful thing for her to do and it made me feel a lot better. My friends Cheryl and Kim came out for supper with me and gave me a card and a big bouquet of flowers It really helped me take my mind off of it and it helped to know that they cared so much and that they loved Charlie too. I was overwhelmed with how thoughtful and caring my friends are. Zane took me out for supper and listened to me cry for about the one millionth time since Charlie passed away.The more I thought about Charlie all day the more I thought about how he always did what he wanted to do. He ate what he wanted, drank what he wanted and he worked hard and played hard. We are almost complete opposites in that respect as I spend almost all my time watching what I eat, drink and do. I think having someone like Charlie in my life helped me see the importance of having fun and throwing caution to the wind. At the end of the day I know I should be happy that I had 20 years with one of the nicest, thoughtful caring people I have ever met, but a part of me just wants to have him back.