Sunday, November 24, 2013

Catherine

So, today I found out that we lost a wonderful lady in our Hemophilia Community. I was looking for an obituary for a co worker who recently passed when I stumbled upon my dear friend Catherines. It is a very hard way to find out that someone you loved has died. I first met Catherine when I got involved with the Hemophilia Society about 5 or 6 years ago. We met at a Women and Bleeding Disorders conference and really got to learn a lot about each other. Over the years we became good friends and she became a mentor and source of inspiration for me. I remember Catherine telling me about two years ago at the annual Christmas party that she had been diagnosed with lung cancer. I was shocked and scared for her but she sounded great and so positive about the whole thing. She said they were gonna treat it and that she wasn't ready to go and before I knew it she was comforting me. I remember thinking why would someone as wonderful as Catherine have to live with Hemophilia her whole life and now be diagnosed with Cancer? It didn't seem fair. After a few months her and I began meeting every couple of weeks and discussed writing her memoirs. Catherine had such a full and beautiful life that there just isn't any way to capture it in one blog post, book or obituary.
She has such a huge personality and she always looked fabulous. I remember visiting her in the hospital one time and even then she looked well put together. She was lying in the hospital bed with a beautiful outfit on and her feet up reading something interesting I'm sure. I asked if she would like me to rub her feet for her and we sat and laughed and chatted for a long time.
I feel sad that someone as wonderful as that is gone. I feel sad that I she may never know how many lives she has touched over the years not only in her work as a professional counselor but her many years of volunteer work with the Canandian Hemophilia Society.
 She means a lot of different things to different people. All I can say is that to me she was hope, she was inspiration that no matter what happens in life you can come out on top.

For anyone reading this who knew Catherine you can write condolences to her family here http://www.mhfh.com/hordos-catherine-ann-lilian/



Sunday, November 3, 2013

Mother and Child Reunion

So, in about three weeks my Mom will be getting a hip replacement. Three years ago she broke her hip and it has been a huge source of pain for her ever since.  I wish I could be with her for longer but as of right now it looks like I will only be able to get away for about a week to 8 days or so. I am not use to my mom being sick and in the hospital. With her and I it is usually the other way around. I hate thinking of my momma having to face this by herself. She is blessed to have lots of family and friends around her but I know that when it comes to times like this you want the person you love by your side and for my mom that is Charlie. Charlie passed away three and a half years ago and I know that for me when I am sick I want Zane my my side.
It's so upsetting to see your parents sick. Thank god I haven't been in this position very often because it is absolutely heartbreaking. If I could take the sick time in moms place I certainly would. The other hard part about this whole situation is my own abilities. I have great coping skills I think when it comes to the emotional aspect of someone being sick but I am severely lacking in my physical abilities to help my mom. For example because of my Hemophilia I can't raelly be lifting her in an out of bed or helping her walk around. Its very fustrating to me because I would love to be the type of child that just comes in and helps their parents out when they need it but I just can't. I think it is espcially hard for me because my mom was my health care provider for so many years. For 22 years whenever I got sick mom had to drop everything she was doing and help me. No matter what was going on she was there from holding gauze in my mouth when I lost a tooth to putting hot towels on my legs when I would have an ankle bleed, she was there. I now feel like its my turn to help her out but instead all I have to offer is a few days visit and some well wishes. It seems like a hollow jesture for a mom I feel like deserves much much more.