Friday, November 28, 2014

I'll have a blue Christmas without you...

So, my husband and I just finished putting up our first Christmas tree in our new house! We have a fire place to hang the stockings, a big living room for the tree and a beautiful mantel for the nativity scene. We are beyond blessed and I am very much looking forward to Christmas. Yet, I find myself feeling homesick every Christmas.
Perhaps this little joke will explain it:

"How do you tell which people are Newfoundlanders in Heaven?"

"They are the only ones who want to go home."

It's certainly not logical to long for a place that is 3000 miles away. It is cold and windy and damp and dreary. It costs more than 1000$ to get there and the journey is treacherous but every Christmas I miss "home."
I guess if you do the same thing every year for Christmas for 25 years then no matter what you do its just different, not bad but different.
They say that once you leave home you can never really go back and I guess its true. 
Even if I were to go home now its not the same, time has passed, and people near and dear to me have passed away. 
One of the things that bothers me the most is the main reason why we don't travel to Newfoundland for Christmas is because of my Hemophilia. 
One year we travelled home and I had a cyst rupture and bleed. I was in pain, I was bleeding internally and all the doctor in Stephenville would do, and this is the honest to gods truth, is give me a shot of vitamin K. It did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. It was a nightmare. 
It was very scary for both me and Zane and thus we haven't returned to Newfoundland for Christmas since.
This year, has also been challenging,we've had two family members diagnosed with illnesses and of course my health hasn't been perfect either.
I am praying that Christmas will be wonderful and continue on into the new year! In the meantime I am gonna focus on all the good things we have in our lives.

A picture of Zane and I during our last visit to Stephenville for Christmas.

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Glorious and FREE

So, today I had the pleasure of being interviewed by Matti Vann. She is an mother of a hemophiliac and is doing an amazing job to raise awareness about Hemophilia! You can read and hear all about her and what she is working on at her website at 
We discussed so many things and I feel like I could write 20 blog posts about our conversation but one thing that certainly stood out for me today was our heath care here in Canada.
Today is of course Remembrance Day here in Canada and I did find myself bragging about our medical system a little bit. I know that our system isn't person and I will admit that I know very little about the Medical system in the US but I will say that knowing I can get the medical care I need without worry of how I will pay for it is a blessing. 
I have many Hemophiliac friends in the US and it seems to me that if you have insurance you are good to go but if you are a Hemophiliac without insurance is can be very difficult. 
I hate the thought of Hemophiliacs suffering especially when they are suffering just because they don't have money.
I have heard horror stories from Hemophiliacs all over the world and I have my own,No health care systems are perfect but hopefully we will one day live in a world where all Hemophiliacs have access to care.
I must say talking to Matti really fired me up and got me excited about volunteering and all that good stuff. 
I was feeling a bit burnt out there for a while but I'm starting to think I'm ready to get back into soon. 
I look forward to sharing the finished product of the pod cast with y'all soon.

Sunday, November 2, 2014

Winter Blues

So, Winter has begun here in Calgary. Heavy, sloppy, wet snow starting falling on Saturday and hasn't stopped until late Sunday afternoon. Winter is a difficult time for me. Every time I leave the house I feel like I am at risk of falling, which for me is a big deal. Last winter I fell down when I was in Newfoundland and I ended up with a very bad, very painful calf bleed. 
I try to be as careful as I can I wear heavy duty winter boots but sometimes it just isn't enough. Even just slipping can cause muscle pain for a long time for me. 
The winter can also be isolating and depressing. Its harder for everyone to get out and the nights are longer. 
Most Hemophiliacs that I know say their health is worse in the wintertime and I have to say my visits to the hospital go up quite a bit in the winter.
This year I am trying to be a bit more proactive I am starting a diet tomorrow and a workout routine that I hope will keep me healthier mentally and physically over the winter. 
If that doesn't work I guess I will just have to move to Hawaii! 

Friday, October 3, 2014

My Angel Mom

So, my darling momma is up here for a visit. She normally comes up about once a year and I try to go home once a year. I am so happy to have her here. She is so pleasant and kind and sweet its a delight to spent each day with her. My mom and I have always been very close. When I was a baby I didn't like anyone else holding me, when I went to school I cried every day when my mom left the classroom and I didn't go to summer camp until I was 21 years old.
I do find it very hard living so far away from my mom but we talk every day on the phone and visit each other whenever we can.
My Momma is an interior decorated and ever since I was little I dreamed of having her one day decorate my house.
Now that shes up here my dream has come true!  Momma has been helping pick out colours and furniture and all that fun stuff.
Being around my makes me so happy and I have been trying to convince her to stay longer.
The only down fall of having her here is that both of our dogs like sleeping with her at night!

Saturday, September 20, 2014

Red Band Society

So, I recently watched the show Red Band Society. Its all about some high school children being treated in the hospital. I myself spent my grade 7 year in the Janeway Children's Hospital in St. John's Newfoundland. 
I had my 13th birthday in the hospital and I went to classes every day just like in the show. I can't relate to everything in the show but some parts really hit home for me. The title comes from the wrist bands the kids wear and I can completely relate to having a special attachment to your hospital band. The one I wore for that year was white and had my hospital number which I still remember 201-266. I had a hard time taking it off once I was released from the hospital and once I finally did, I couldn't part with it and to this day its at my mothers house in Newfoundland wedged in between two books.
Looking back on the whole experience I don't know how I got through it. Lately if I'm in the hospital even over night I just hate it. I guess as a child you are more resilient. 
The kids on the show have parties and hang out together which I can't relate to at all there wasn't a lot of fun to be had while I was there. I mostly remember spending time with my mom and dad. We would watch movies, make crafts and play games. Dad and I went through every Where's Waldo book ever made and I think mom and I were up to date on every soap opera going. 
Anyways my point is this is a very cute show and you should check it out. I bet a lot of my Hemophilia friends can relate to spending long periods of time in the hospital and the funny things we do to get through it.

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Best Friend

So, over the past weekend my best friend in the whole wide world came out to visit. It was her and her husbands first visit to Alberta so Zane and I were really excited to show them around.
They were only here for a few days but we managed to have an amazing time.
We couldn't of asked for better house guests as they were pretty much cooking and cleaning and walking our dogs every time we turned around.
Half way through the visit my arm started to get really sore and I was so torn about what to do. Part of me wanted to just suck it up while part of me was trying to be responsible so I decided to take it as easy as I could for the weekend then I went in to get checked out on Monday.
Of course, my friends were so understanding about me not feeling well. That's the best part about having a best friend like her she is so supportive, understanding and sweet. I honestly don't know what I would do without her. I hope everyone eventually meets a best friend like her and I hope I am even a tiny bit as good a friend as she is to me.

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

University Talk

So, I spoke at the university of Calgary a few weeks ago. This is my forth year speaking and I must say every year the first year medical students manage to ask me new questions!
This year they asked how my husband copes with me having Hemophilia and how I told him. I explained to them that living in a small town Zane knew I had Hemophilia before he even met me. I also explained to them that Zane has been nothing but wonderful and kind and caring with regard to me and my Hemophilia. I also pointed Zane out since he took the morning off work just to hear be blab on about things he already knows about. As soon as they saw him they gave him a huge round of applause which I thought was so nice because he deserves so many things and a big round of applause every day. Overall I think the talk went really well and I was happy to be a part of it. 
On a side note, my arm has been bothering me since Friday. I began taking percocet for the pain and on Monday I went in for an ultrasound. The test came back clear so I can only assume its muscle pain. My only complaint is that I am still in pain and now I am recovering from the percocet. Narcotics are nasty things and even if you only take them for a few days they make you grumpy and hot and sweaty and just feeling pretty yucky overall. 
I guess I panicked when the pain started because I did have a chest bleed a few years back and it was just excruciating. 
Anyways, I will continue to rest and ice my arm and I am praying that it feels better by Sunday so I can return to work.