Je T'aime Papa

So, when I was in Kindergarten our project for Fathers Day was to make a T Shirt for our Dads. I drew a picture of my Dad and our teacher put it on a white T shirt to bring home. I don't completely remember making the shirt because I was so young but it meant a lot to my Dad.
Years later when I was in the Childrens Hospital my Dad flew down from Alberta to see me. When he walked through my room door he had on his Je T'aime Papa T Shirt on and we all laughed. It was so nice to have him around during such a difficult time and the fact that he hung on to that T Shirt for all those years was so touching.
My Dad passed away suddenly and unexpectedly on March 27th, 2020.
I now have the t shirt in my house and I will always cherish it. It reminds be of my father and his amazing sense of humor.

Love in the time of Covid-19

So, We are in the middle of a global pandemic. There are no way to fully comprehend the amount of pain and grief the world is experiencing right now.
In Canada, we are lucky to have free health care most people are social distancing and settling into a new normal.
In my own home I have been laid off work and Zane is blessed to be able to work from home.
From a chronic illness standpoint I am concerned that if i get a bleed, I will put more stress on an already maxed out health care system. I am also worried about having to go to the hospital in general and being exposed to potential illness there. I am also concerned because my Hemophilia Clinic is currently closed so I am unable to get in contact with anyone there. At the moment I am happy and healthy so I am praying it'll stay that way until this virus passes.
I will say when it comes to a epidemic, people with chronic illness might be the best equipped. For example, dealing with the loss of a job, over the years due to my illness I have been laid off, fired and made to feel so uncomfortable that I just quit. This is not something that is necessarily new for me. I have been where you are, wondering what my next move will be and thankfully have always found something even if it involved mixing paint or having  funeral for a rabbit (long story).
I've also spent a lot of time worrying about my health so if you are in that boat I am right there with you! There have been times in my life where I was sick, where I was near death and times where I thought maybe I just won't make it this time. Worrying is not helpful and it doesn't get you anywhere but sometimes its just impossible not to.
My only recommendation is to grin and bear it. I hate that advice but sometimes we just have to try and be positive until our situation changes.
In the meantime occupy your time with things you enjoy if you can like reading, watching a movie or cooking.
Since this whole thing has started most people have been scared but also so caring and kind. You will notice in the dark times there are always people reaching out asking if you need help or need to talk.
Lean on the people in your life and don't be afraid to ask for help. I learned a long time ago that it takes great strength to ask for help and most people are happy to do it.
In the meantime, if you need me I will be in my kitchen peeling, chopping and freezing bananas as I accidentally ordered 7 bunches of Bananas instead of just 7.
Take care of yourself, your loved ones and hang in there!

Nanny

I breaks my heart to say but my precious Nanny Priddle passed away yesterday. She was 91 and she passed away peacefully in her sleep with her family by her side.
When I first heard that Nanny was sick it broke my heart. I was scared and worried about her and I was worried about how the world would look for all of her family if she died.
However, when I got the call yesterday to say that she has passed I couldn't help but feel blessed and happy and at peace with everything.
You can't help but feel that was when you look back at how many people loved her and how she got to watch her little family grow and grow over the years.
Nanny was about 55 years old by the time I came around. I was a fat, little demanding baby and from the time I was born Nanny was a huge part of my life.
You see when you have a child with a chronic illness it takes a lot of people around to make it work.
Nanny treated me like any other of her grandkids, she didn't act fearful when she babysat me and she never seemed alarmed when she would come and visit me in the hospital. Even when there was probably great cause to be alarmed.
Nanny took me under he wing and seemed to know how to care for me even though my illness was new to the family and rare and severe.
When I would have a bleed she would wrap my ankles up in hot towels to ease my pain. When I couldn't sleep she would sing to me, these old lullabys that I had never heard of but they were so soothing.
We were blessed to all live in the same town and every Christmas, new years, Easter, thanksgiving and milestone birthdays we would all gather at nans house. Everyone was welcome and her and Poppy would cook these large meals. She loved hosting everyone and didn't mind if you brought a friend or neighbor.
The last time I saw Nanny was when we were all home for her 90th birthday. I thought she would live to be 100.
Nanny had a seemingly endless supply of love and care for people. She has 13 grandchildren and Im sure if you asked each one of them they would say they were her favorite! She had a way of making us all feel special just the way were are!
I am sad that I can't see her anymore and I am sad for all of my family as we all loved her so dearly but ultimately I am thankful that we got to have this fantastic woman in our lives for as long as we did.
As most of my family and friends know, Zane and I are in the process of adopting a child. It is a long drawn out, terrible process but thinking of my Nanny gives me strength to carry on and the confidence to know that even if I am 10% of the wife and mother and grandmother she was I'll be doing alright.