Saturday, April 25, 2015

Momma D

On Monday morning I got the call I have been dreading for a year. My husband called to tell me that my darling mother in law Della passed away. I would say, she lost her battle with cancer but I don't think she lost. She fought cancer three times in her life and I think in the end she agreed to go.
I don't want to write about it but I feel like maybe if I get out how terrible I feel maybe I will feel better but, I suspect I could write a thousand pages and still feel sad about Della. 
I met her 10 years ago when Zane and I started dating and for some reason right from day 1 she treated me like I was so special and such a blessing to have around. I loved the way I felt around her because she made me feel like I could do no wrong and that I was important.
When I think about her I picture her at our wedding. She wore this beautiful white dress and she honestly looked like a little angel. She seemed so happy that day and helped us with so much even though she had major surgery just 4 months earlier. I can't imagine the strength and courage it took suffer like she did and she did it with grace and dignity and a smile on her face.
The last time we talked she called me while I was in the hospital and asked me if I need anything! If I needed anything? She was in the hospice fighting for her life and she wanted to know if I need anything? And she asked if Zane knew, cause sometimes her and I would have small secrets from Zane just so we wouldn't worry him.
I can't believe the only person in the world who loved Zane as much as me is gone.
I could never thank her enough for raising such a wonderful man.
I will say I am not sitting here wondering if Della knew how much I loved her and I am not wondering how much she loved me. Della loved with her whole heart and I know she knew that I thought the world of her.



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