Sunday, October 15, 2017

Managing Expectations

So, when you have a chronic illness you not only have the joy of dealing with how you feel about your illness, you also have the added bonus of dealing with how other people feel about your illness.
Everyone has their own way of dealing with illness. I think a lot of people in my life have reached a level of desensitization my mother and father for example, I feel like I could call and tell them anything and they would just say oh. I think its a coping mechanism. I use to do that a lot when I was a kid. I would pretend I didn't have a bleed so I could go to a birthday party or go outside and play. That's another thing about having a chronic illness you do a lot of pretending. You pretend you are ok when you aren't because you know people are sick of hearing about how sick you are. You pretend you aren't devastated every time you have to miss work and events over and over again. 
The thing is it might get easier for my family to hear I'm sick but for me its almost like its getting harder. I guess when I was a kid I had more support, if I missed school it didn't matter and I didn't have to worry about cooking or cleaning. Now its just Zane and I and when I get sick I have to call a cleaning lady and the dogs don't get walked as much as they would like and my laundry falls way behind. Having a chronic illness is no picnic. My fear is that I will turn into a grumpy, bitter old lady. I am trying to be grateful and pleasant. Some days are just harder than others. 

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