Au revoir Paris

So, I finally let my fear take control of me and I decided to cancel Paris. I recently went to a conference in Montreal and between the flights and long days and travelling around with my luggage I got a bleed so that made me think that Paris was going to be much too hard on me.

The flight time is 22 hours and the conference would of been 4 days. Some people I've talked to agree with me some people think I'm crazy.

I think I am being very smart and responsible. You see when you have an illness like this well at least in my experience I've learned to not get too excited about things. It may seem sad in a way but it's all about self preservation. I've made plans for lots of things that I've had to give up on, careers, parties, my own sisters wedding.

As a child I would scream and cry until my face turned blue when my friends would go skating and I couldn't go but as an adult I've learned to accept it and move on.

Normally, I don't get too excited about things that's the trick. But this time, I did get myself excited about Paris, I didn't realize it until it was cancelled but I have a little Eiffel tower statue, a bag and several t shirts all purchased with the anticipation that I would be there some day.

I have the worst sinking feeling every time the word Paris is mentioned, part resentment, part acceptance, part sadness.

There will be lots of trips in my future or not, either way I'll curl up with Zane and Lily and be fine.

Hemophilia is a pain in the butt...literally!

So, I spent Friday in the hospital I went to the Hemophilia Clinic in lots of pain, my right leg felt sore from my gluteal muscles to my knee I think it was from overuse when I went to Montreal but either way I ended up in the hospital. After two tried for an IV I received 50 mg of Benedryl, two units of frozen plasma, percocet, more benedryl and then two more units of frozen plasma. The whole process took about 8 hours, its very tiring but my Dad came up with so that was really nice and made it a lot easier. 

My plans for the rest of the weekend is to rest and ice my leg. Luckily (unluckily) Zane has a bad knee as well so both resting up together. 

Anyways, this bleed has got me thinking about what people think about Hemophilia. In my opinion people are very ignorant about my Hemophilia and people with disabilities from the kids who use to make fun of me as a kid because my lip was always bleeding to the adults who think I'm faking it. The thing about me is that I can be having a bleed and still look perfectly normal. I can put make-up on and do my hair and look just like I do any other day except inside I am actually in a lot of pain. In fact living with Hemophilia I am often in a lot of pain on the inside but I've learned to deal with some of it and hide some of it. 

Tickets for sale!

So, I would like to tell you about this beautiful necklace we are selling tickets on.

The pendant and necklace was donated by Alberta Diamond Exchange a beautiful jewelry store located in Aspen Landing, Calgary, specializing in custom made jewelry for more information check them out at www.abdiamond.ca.

The pendant is 14kt white gold and set with 44 round brilliant cut diamonds and one pear shaped genuine Mozambique garnet.

This piece was custom made specifically for the Southern Alberta Region of the Canadian Hemophilia Society. Tickets are 5$ each with 100% of the proceeds going to the Canadian Hemophilia Society. The winner will be picked on March 9th, 2012 at the 3rd annual Volunteer Appreciation Event.

If you are interested in purchasing a ticket please let me know. 

Thank you to Alberta Diamond for their extremely generous donation.

Hurt

So, I think my news years resolution should of been to blog more because I haven't written in a long time.

Tonight I am writing about a sore leg. But of course, as a Hemophiliac a sore leg is never just a sore leg. It started to get sore around Sunday and its still really sore today so I went in to get it checked out at the clinic. They said they think it's just a muscle strain so I'm going to rest it for a few days and see how it goes. I'm praying it will get better on it's own and that I don't need a transfusion. Anyways this whole ordeal brings me to my point, you have to be so careful with prescription medication. Because of the pain I took a pain killer but I only took the prescribed amount and no matter how bad the pain gets you can't mix medications or drink alcohol with prescription medication. 

I know what it is like to be in extreme pain I really do I've bled into almost every joint and I think I have a high tolerance for pain. Proof of my pain tolerance is the fact that I was having a gallstone attack and I worked my entire shift at work and then went into the hospital. 

But if you are in that much pain you need to go into the hospital where they can give you the most pain medication possible and keep an eye on you so you don't harm yourself. 

Honestly, I find most pain medication doesn't help the pain a whole lot, it takes the edge off but that's about it. If you are in enough pain that you feel like taking prescription drugs go to the hospital and ask for help to get to the source of the pain that is your best bet. Taking excessive amounts of prescription drugs can only lead to stomach problems, addiction and even death.