Friday, December 27, 2013

Christmas time in the city

So, Christmas time is over now our house is full of gifts and wrapping paper and left overs. I wish I could say I had a wonderful Christmas but again Hemophilia has gotten in the way. My nightmare leading up to Christmas really stayed with me even after I got better and I found it hard to just jump into regular every day life.
After spending 9 days in pain I felt isolated, exhausted and worn out in pretty much every way possible. The thing is no one else just went through what you went through so they don't understand how you are feeling. It sounds crazy but after you go through something like that you feel like you should win an award or something but you just have to pick yourself up, smile and move on to the next day. 
Sometimes its harder to pick up and move on than others.
It reminds me of one Christmas when all of my friends seemed to be interested in ice skating. I, of course could not go ice skating its hard on the ankles and I was advised not to skate.
I remember going up to my room and just screaming and crying in frustration. I was only about 7 or 8 at the time and I didn't understand what was going on all I knew was that I wanted to play with my friends and instead I was alone in my room by myself.
I feel like that little girl a lot. Every time there's something I cant do, every time I have to take a step back and deal with my illness instead of everyday life.

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