Beets!

So, since this whole gallstones diagnosis I've been on a very strict diet, nothing but fruits and vegetables until I am 100% pain free. Especially beets! for some reason beets are the best thing for gallstones.
Its been so difficult for me. I'm still not fully recovered from my last episode, my iliopsoas bleed in December 2008.
I know you can't decide and say, OK I'm ready for my life to be turned upside down.
The week before I got sick I worked the most hours I have worked since I left my full time job in February 2009.
I felt like I was slowly but surely getting back to my normal.
Now, I just feel like I'm working to get through this obstacle, but we all know that in a day, or a month or even a year there will be another episode to do with my health that will set me back. Not to mention all the other normal things life throws at you.
Oh my, I guess I just have to take it one beet at a time.

Scared

So, Friday when I went to the hospital for my daily treatment my doctor said that he wasn't happy with how long it was taking me to get better!
He decided to do a follow up Ultrasound and a surgical consult. The ultrasound went fine and then a surgical resident came to talk to me.
The said they would rather do the surgery now when when everything is planned and somewhat normal rather than wait until my gallstones bother me again and everything is inflamed and infected.
The whole time she is talking I'm thinking, there's no way you are operating on me!
You see I have several things that require surgery, 5 impacted wisdom teeth, ovarian cysts and now these gallstones.
I've always been told that surgery it too risky so to have someone sit down and discuss how my surgery would go was scary.
In the end we decided that if I have no further pain I'm good to go. If the pain comes back or gets worse they want to operate on Tuesday!
In my world that is an absolute nightmare I have a fear of being put under and a fear of getting cut open and parts of my body being removed.
Anyways, through some research I found lots of information on the Internet that says a low fat diet can keep you from having a gallstone attack.
Awesome, so Zane goes to the grocery store and buys me every fruit and vegetable they had in Safeway!
So far the diet has been going pretty well.
I did spend one day feeling sorry for myself. I mean its hard to one week eat whatever you and then the next week you have to cut out everything you enjoy eating.
I tried feeling bad for myself and cried and stuff like that but it just upsets everyone around me, my Mom, my Dad and Zane. They are already stressed out enough so I sucked it up.
Today was a much better day. I met with a natural path practitioner and she was great. An angel really.
She gave me great ideas and recipes that I can follow. She also has some ideas for getting rid of the gallstones completely my eating certain foods.
For example, she said beets are great for gallstones so I've already eaten 3 beets today which is more than I've ever eaten in my whole life. They actually aren't that bad besides the fact that they make everything red my pots and pans and my teeth and hands. Oh well I feel like that is the least of my worries at this point.
I must say though I do feel I lost something. I know its only food but its strange to think that I will never eat ice cream cake again, or enjoy a nice cup of coffee with lots of cream and sugar.
I know those things were just killing me slowly but they felt good going down.
I do feel like this new way of eating will save my life or at least make it more enjoyable!

Stones

So, I went to work Monday with a little pain in my side. As the day went on it go worse and worse. I never had a pain like it before so its hard to describe but it hurt to move hurt to breathe in and I was really nauseated.
By the time Zane got home from work I had my mind made up to go to the emergency room.
Which should tell you how much pain I was in because I never go to the emergency unless I absolutely have to!
When i go to the emergency room I play the Hemophilia card. I call the switchboard and have them page the hemotologist on call. When I see the triage nurse I talk about how I could be bleeding internally and I always say I feel about 10 times worse than i actually do. If i don't do this I could be in the waiting room for 12 hours and I can't take that chance because it is quite possible I could be bleeding internally.
Anyways, after a few hours we see the doctor, they give me a steroid to relax my muscles, morphine and an anti nauseant. A few hours later I am released. They assume it's gallstones. I was diagnosed with gallstones with I was 12 years old because of a mineral build up from all the blood transfusions.
The next morning Zane and I go for my ultrasound, they find that my gallbladder is swollen and infected. Awesome.
The doctors decide to give me four units of fresh frozen plasma. Also they decide to give me all kinds of drugs.
Anyways this protocol continues Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, today and I have to fo back Friday and Saturday.
This is ridiculous right? I'm exhausted, nauseated, hungry and sick.
Today during my daily hospital visit, my nurse gave me the suggested diet for people with gallstones.
It's brutal! no coffee, no booze, no dairy the list of foods to aviod goes on and on!
It may not seem like a big deal, but I just feel like the more i go along with the disease the less and less I can do.
The nurse said today, yeah its all fun and games until you get get an attack.
And i'm thinking yea, because my life has really been fun and games up until this point!
Seriously, I just feel like what else is going to get taken away from me? But as I've learned me feeling sorry for myself doesn't get me anywhere either.
I'll just have to suck it up and eat my organic fruits and berries and shut up!

Mother's Day

So, Mother's Day was just a few days ago. I worked in the morning and then I spent the afternoon phoning all the mothers! My mom, Zane's mom, my step mom and Zane's step mom. We are blessed to have four wonderful mother figures in our lives.

As I've mentioned before my mother is the most important person to me in the whole world. I think a lot of people think that about their own mothers. But my mom managed to stay so cool calm and collected through all of my traumatic events. Even when i got a really bad cut on my head and ran up the driveway with blood spraying from my forehead. She made me feel like a normal person which I think is the best thing she could of done.

I sent her a beautiful card for mothers day and a gift certificate. I always wish there was more I could do for but she is also so appreciative of everything I give her.

Mother's Day is great but it always gets me thinking about myself and if I will ever have my own Mother's Day.

Ever since I was about 12 years old I dreamed of having children. i would ask for baby name books for Christmas and spent hours and hours with my friends talking about how we would would have 5 and 6 kids and what colour their hair and eyes would be!

I always knew that with severe factor 5 Hemophilia having children would be difficult. but its not something that I had to worry about until later. Well now it is later, I am engaged and at the age where I would like to soon have a child.

So I try and do some research. There is NO information on the Internet about what happens when I severe factor 5 hemophiliac has children.

So I question people in the Hemophilia world which isn't a whole lot of help either. There are only 150 cases of my condition reported world wide so I feel like there's no one that can say for sure what will happen.

Normal healthy women have miscarriages and complications during labour so this risk for me is immense.

The only guide line I really have is a lady who is about 65 years old and lives in the US. She told me that she tried and tried to have a baby but miscarried every time.

Also, my oldest sister is a symptomatic carrier of factor 5 which means her level of factor 5 are just a bit lower than a normal persons.

She has one son and had a lot of complications with him. So, with my levels at less than 1% it seems like it would be difficult.

I always thought about adoption but I've been looking into it and someone with a chronic life threatening illness is so exactly a prime candidate.

So with all that being said, I don't think I've actually accepted it. In my heart I feel like I was meant to be a mother and some how I will figure out a way to have a child. I can't really see myself doing anything else with my life.

Good Deed

So a few weeks ago I met a fellow Hemophiliac. He has a rare factor deficiency and a few years ago he suffered a stroke.
He doesn't have a lot of family support and has be unable to work since the stroke.
Our Hemophilia nurse suggested that we get him a laptop.
She felt this would open a lot of doors for him, allow him to talk to family, write resumes, apply for jobs and make new friends.
I wrote a proposal to our Chapter and within a week they approved the funds to buy him his very own laptop!
Today, Our president and I dropped off the computer to him. It was so wonderful to see him so happy. This is the first computer he has ever had.
I am hoping this will improve his quality of life and I must say I am so grateful that I got to be a part of making someones life better!