Thursday, January 21, 2016

Despite all my rage

The way I am feeling right now can only be described as RAGE. I think anyone with a chronic illness can relate to this stage of an episode.
For me when the pain first comes on I am sick and sad, then, I start taking drugs and my head is fuzzy and all I care about is if I have pain meds.
Then theres this stage where I am off all of the drugs so i'm agitated, I'm on bed rest so i'm bored out of my mind and I'm still not feeling 100% so its becomes the perfect combination of just plain rage.
I feel helpless and weak. I also feel terrible of the stress it causes on Zane, hes been working full time and cooking and cleaning. No matter how sick you are the laundry has to be done and meals need to be cooked. I wish I could afford to hire a maid and a cook when I am sick oh and a dog walker cause they are just looking at me like seriously? another nap?
Anyways, thats enough negativity for today. I am praying that I wake up feeling stronger and healthier. Goodnight!

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