A blog all about raising awareness for Women with Bleeding disorders.
I am a severe factor 5 Hemophiliac living in Calgary, Alberta, Canada and this is a blog about my life!
Friday, October 28, 2011
The Princess Bride
So, most people tell stories about their little sisters coming into the world as a bit of a stressful time. They talk about craving their parents attention and feeling envious of the new baby. However, that was not the case with my big sister, Kelli. I don't think anyone was as excited as Kelli when I was born. My mother always tells the story about how every night Kelli would get out of her bed, walk to my nursery and climb in my crib with me because she wanted to see me. As we got older Kelli and I had our own rooms and being eight years apart she was glad to have her own space but I wanted to sleep with my big sister every night and instead of getting mad Kelli would open up the covers and let me snuggle up with her. I know it's the little sisters job to be a brat, but I wasn't just any little sister, I was spoiled rotten and I was sick so that made me think that I could do anything or have anything I wanted. Until the age of about 12 I believed that the earth did not revolve around the sun but it revolved around me. Kelli could of ignored me but instead she embraced me for who I was, she came to the hospital with me, took me to the ice cream parlour, bathed me, changed me and taught me how to read. Kelli was not only my big sister but my best friend and second mom. She took my Hemophilia in stride and never would show how hard it was on her. When I was crying in pain in the middle of the night she would go and get hot towels and place them on my legs and she spent many hours in the emergency room with me. As adults her instinct to protect me never changed. She was always there for me when I would go through a bad break up, got a bad mark in school or had a fight with a friend. I honestly don't know how I would get through life without my big sister! Now it is time for her to get married. She is marrying a wonderful man who has been a friend of the family for years and we are all very happy for both of them. Kelli's wedding will take place on November 4th in Las Vegas and it kills me to think that I will not be there to see it. I was just treated for a leg bleed and had 8 units of plasma over the past two days. My hematologist has advised me not to go because I am at risk of re bleeding and of course now my insurance is void because I have been hospitalized 7 days prior to flying. I am angry and sad about not being able to attend. I feel that Kelli has always been the one taking care of me and helping me and now on her wedding day I can't support her and be there for her. I know there is nothing I can do about it and I'm suppose to calm and accepting but inside I am so hurt. I feel like a little kid again and everyone is out skating and I am home in my room crying. At the same time I am so happy for my sister. I know her and Shawn will live a long and happy life together and the main thing is that they are together and happy and I will be thinking of them on their special day.